I Wanna Be Your Dog
by StBridget
Summary: The Stray Dog Man strikes again. AU Xenofiles, but only loosely dependent on other stories.


**Hawaii Five-0 is property of CBS and its creators.  
**

 **Title taken from the Stooges song of the same name.**

 **A/N: Lots of shout outs on this one-bswindle20 for the initial idea, sue2556 for some ideas (though this isn't really what she wanted, but more on that below), and especially my DH for helping me hash out the details.**

Danny was awakened by a noise outside his apartment. He grabbed his gun and cautiously opened the door. No one was in the hall, but he caught movement from the corner of his eye. He looked closer. It was a dog. Maybe. It looked like a Belgian Malinois, but it was covered in what appeared to be copper wire. Danny groaned. Great. That was going to be a bitch to untangle and was probably going to leave lots of cuts. Hopefully, none of them would need stitches. The vet bills were one of the big drawbacks of his reputation as the Stray Dog Man of Aloha Station.

"Heel," Danny ordered the animal. It followed him obediently into the house. "Sit." The dog sat. Good, at least it was trained. That was better than most of the animals Danny found on his doorstep.

Danny knelt down. "Let's see about getting this wire off. How does that sound?" He picked up a paw and grasped a piece of wire. It was surprisingly smooth and supple. Danny was very grateful it wasn't barbed, especially since the dog seemed to be entirely covered in several layers of it. Danny gently tugged, but there was very little give. He tugged again, harder. The dog yelped. Danny sat back in surprise. Son of a gun. That wasn't wire, it was fur. Er, something. In any case, it was attached to the dog.

Danny ran his hand experimentally over the animal's back. It was smooth, apparently looped, with a surprising lack of sharp ends sticking out. Danny kind of liked the feel.

"Let's get you something to eat, okay?" Danny couldn't tell under all the wire if the dog was malnourished, but the ones that made their way to his door usually were. At least the wire seemed to protect against cuts and mange, and hopefully, fleas as well. Really, for a stray, it was in remarkably good shape.

Danny measured out a bit of the kibble he kept on hand especially for situations such as this. The dog dove in and gobbled it down in a couple of bites. "Hey, take it easy. You don't want to make yourself sick." The dog just looked at him expectantly. "Let's see how that sets on your stomach. If you don't throw it back up—" heaven forbid—"you can have some more in a couple of hours." That seemed to satisfy the beast. He left the bowl and began to nose around Danny's apartment.

Danny watched him. What was he going to do with it? He'd found so many dogs, none of the rescues would take any from him, even if it was an Earth breed. Being an alien species made it even harder. He briefly considered foisting it off on Steve, his partner, but Steve had made it clear after the Aquarian sea dog (which, Danny was quick to point out, Steve had adopted, but Steve said that was beside the point) he wasn't taking in any more of Danny's strays. His other teammates were out, too—each of them already had at least one dog (Earth species—they'd left the alien ones alone), and Lou had two. Plus, Kono had her flat cat, and Chin had his Poe's raven.

"I wish I could keep you," Danny told the dog, who'd finished his exploration of Danny's studio apartment and laid down on the bed Danny kept for the dogs that passed through his door, "but my landlord won't let me, and you're kind of big for this place even if he did." Danny swore the dog looked mournful. "Well, there's nothing I can do tonight. We'll figure it out in the morning." With the dog keeping guard, Danny went back to sleep.

Danny awoke to the dog sitting by the bed, patiently waiting, for food and exercise, Danny assumed. He fed the dog—a slightly larger amount this time, since he hadn't found any sign of vomit, thank goodness—while he sipped his coffee, then took the animal for a walk around the apartment block. The dog was clearly glad to get out and bounded ahead, stretching to the very end of the leash. Danny found it hard to keep up. He had to laugh at the dog's enthusiasm. It was really, really too bad Danny couldn't keep him; he could get fond of the beast. Danny could call him…let's see, what would be an appropriate name? Not something common like Spot or Rover—that was the kind of name Steve would come up with (and had—his Boston terrier was Fido, and the sea dog was cleverly (yeah, right) named Salty). Maybe Danny could name him after someone famous. Not an ancient Hawaiian, the old Earth state the colony was named for—Danny wouldn't be caught dead naming his dog after something associated with this pineapple-infested hellhole. Maybe a musician? Jon, maybe? No, Bruce. Yeah, he liked Bruce. Who better to name the dog after than the Boss? Danny groaned. Shit, he was getting attached. Not good. Really, really not good.

Danny couldn't let go of the idea as he finished getting ready for work and attached a leash to Bruce—no, dammit, he was not going to think of him that way. He couldn't afford to. Bruce—no, the dog, just the dog, nice and generic—would have to come to work with Danny; the apartment was too small to leave the dog in all day; God knew what kind of trouble he could get into.

Danny pondered his conundrum all the way into work, Bruce—no, no, no, stop that! He chided himself—sitting obediently by his side on the tram, Danny's hand resting on his head. By the time Danny got to work, he'd made a decision.

Steve took one look at Danny's companion and groaned. "Not again!" Chin had to hide his smile, Kono snickered, and Lou laughed outright.

"What is it this time?" Lou asked.

Danny looked to Chin, their resident expert of alien species. Chin tapped a few buttons on the smart table and brought up a picture. "Wire-haired Malinois. It's actually a genetically engineered cross between a Belgian Malinois and a Valborg wire dog."

"I am not taking it," Steve said, adamantly. "Enough is enough."

"Don't worry," Danny assured him. "I'm keeping him."

"Where?" Steve demanded. "Your apartment's too small, and you can't have pets. I already told you, I'm not taking it in, so don't think you can leave it at my house and visit."

"They're supposedly not good with other dogs, either," Chin added.

"Don't worry, I have a plan," Danny said mysteriously.

"And just what is this master plan?" Lou inquired.

"I'm going to rent a house down on the planet."

"Wow, you must be seriously in love with this dog," Kono said. "You hate the planet—too much sun and sand, according to you."

Danny ignored her. "I've been thinking of it anyway. Grace would have more room when she visits, and well, I'd be able to have a pet."

"You've given this some serious thought, haven't you?" Lou said.

Danny nodded. "Yeah, I have. I think it's best all around."

Lou clapped him on the back. "Well, in that case, welcome to the wonderful world of dog ownership."

Danny couldn't help smiling fondly at Bruce. Yeah, he was going to like that a lot.

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A/N: sue2556 wanted something cute, cuddly, and soothing, like a flat cat but different, for Danny, but DH and I agreed it should be a dog. However, I can't let the idea of something else go, so that'll be a future story. . .This is turning into the Pet Verse in Space on Steroids. Oh, well. :)


End file.
